It's been over two months since I've put anything here, and while time has certainly laid some impressions heavy upon me, they seem impossible to recall. A velvety fog lingers on this morning, the trees are mostly stripped, and without my consent, fall is almost passing.
I lament the loss of fall, not for the loss of beauty -- which is real and true, but because I never got to know her this year. I've been in limbo, staying in another's house, and it seems my survival mode has superceded my real love, and need of the changing seasons.
Friday at work we were informed that one of our co-workers was killed in a car accident. She was a single mom with three kids. I've spent the weekend reeling in this passing time, and savoring what's left with my dear grandparents.
It's a phenomenon to us humans, that in our attempts to live more fully, we often forget for what we're living. We become sidetracked with any and every number of distracting cares and burdens. I hate the sobriety that is due me, and inevitably comes at these times, but I need it. I come again to Ecclesiastes 7:2 "It is better to go to a house of mourning than to go to a house of feasting, because that is the end of every man, and the living takes it to heart."
My faith eyes have been so very dim, and as Isaac, I can hardly distinguish what and who is before me. With these fleeting realities, I need grace, and I beckon for it for any who may read this as well... I miss you all.