"Only God can fully satisfy the hungry heart of man" Hugh Black.

My heart has been so hungry, and dear reader, I confess my hunger has not been for God. The past weeks have landed me in sundry lots of hardened plots, denoted as the path of destruction. My mind has been diverted in its cause, and in every way its hunger has grown insatiable for every unwholesome vice known to my youthful state. "Thou hast made me possess the sins of my youth" has been swirling through my mind, and with the passing days, I've sunk into further despondency and divertedness.

I slip away at these times, and I suppose I am like every sin-sick pilgrim to have walked this sod. We are told that Adam and Eve, after sinning, procured leaves to hide their nakedness, and I too, when ensnared in the unholy sins of my nature, weave together the textiles of my choosing, and arrange them "artfully" to conceal my shame.

Unfortunately I believe this arranging is more accurately called justification, and my concealment is nothing more than my avoidance in approaching Him who sees all. Verily, I say this is as rank, base, and pitiful as it gets, and yet I compelled to speak of it, for I believe this theme is one most common to man, and yet lies shrouded in the darkness of our silent hearts. We remain hushed about the plight which knocks and keeps us all down, and in our cowering we look to everything but Him -- who is our only hope -- now, and for eternity.


I've been appalled to see the tenderized portions of my wicked and exposed heart. My flesh is never much progressed in its fallenness, but at these times, my hell-bent state depicts a reality of which I am not always as mindful. I want to say that I am thankful for this, but at present I am mortified and frightened by my wickedness.

I mean not to state my current posture as any more or less grotesque than it is, but to shed light on the blight that plagues and devastates the souls of men. My hand, while needing to reach itself out of its shame and into grace, has been withheld and kept back, and I fear some others have been here too.

It's been dawning in slivers of light, that my receiving of grace at this time seems most incomprehensible because my heart is cracked, dry, and dull in its receiving. I've desired to turn from God and into sin, and it seems impossible to receive grace when one is neither desirous or deserving of it, but this my friends, is the gospel. Romans 5:6 says, "For while we were still helpless, at the right time, Christ died for the ungodly," and in vs. 8 "but God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." Thanks be to God.

My soul is a yawning pit set on snapping its jaws on life, and clamping its teeth at God, but because of His Spirit in me, that cavern is being transformed from one degree of glory to another, and its chambers are being filled with the resonance of His grace. The sin of our members never slumbers, while we ourselves grow slack, and we are far more needy than any of us can fathom.

I know not why I speak this all to my shame, but am convinced of greater things, and thus am compelled to hang out the translucent fibers of my being. I wish always to unite hearts to one another and to Him, and so, reader, approach Him. However feeble or famished your state, go to Him. Speak to Him as your muttering heart fumbles and your sneaky snares beset you; speak to Him and beg Him for grace. He, unlike us is not surprised by our helpless and broken state, and again He -- not us, knows always that only He can provide our remedy in this awful fight against sin. Sever the root by feeding faith, and feed faith with the irresistible knowledge of God. (John Piper thoughts).

"Therefore let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need." Hebrews 4:16