Thirty

I was awakened to slits of sun slipping through my shades -- heavy frost had climbed to the tops of the trees, and all that glistened was smiling. Joy's fount gurgled and spurted some as I sat to sip my coffee and read.

Endless thoughts have been spreading themselves and covering me with concepts I cannot forget - thus I've taken to my post in sorting, in hopes that somewhere here I might deduce enough to compel a complete change of mind.

As 30 landed upon me last week, I've been attempting to surmise what embodied my twenties. I see a feisty fireball at the onset with just enough sparking splayed to enter more subtly into thirty. I see intense joys coupled with crippling confusion -- great faith, and rock bottom doubt and despair. I recall the voracity with which I devoured truth and the accompanying disillusionment that followed great billowing swells and faith, hope, and disappointment.

Perhaps this is the common score for the twenties, but I tell you, I want the thirties to strike deeper and last longer. I am no longer yearning quite so intensely to find the most incredible way to spend all of my days, but rather I'd not mind spending them all in another's shadow, be I always tucked neath His wings. I'd like my ups taken slower, and my downs with perspective, and words administered in truth and love, consistently to all those around me. I desire only to do that which is right, and to be strengthened in this resolve that teeters and lessens the further I step from it remembrance. I have many thoughts on perseverance I wish to explore, but I cannot yet squeeze them out.